Getting Out of Neutral: Escaping Life’s Default Setting

David Foster Wallace's This Is Water resonated with me more than I would have thought. When he spoke about the 'default setting' in his speech, it was a reminder to me that so much of our life we live the idea that the world revolves around us, it made me think a lot as to what it actually stood for. It made me reflect a bit on my own life, in particular, about how I drive. When sitting there in traffic, every red light, every slow driver, and every truck that cuts me off feels as though it’s happening to me – why me? My “default reaction” is getting irritated: why is everyone in my way when I’m trying to get home?

Wallace’s point is that awareness is about our decisions in what we see of those moments. For someone behind the wheel, this might mean waking up and realizing that someone in the car ahead of me might be as tired, stressed, or in a hurry as I am. Or maybe they’ve had a long day, or maybe they’re distracted by bigger problems. And it could just be that they’re doing their best to get through. Instead of honking, tailgating, or fuming, I could choose to give them grace — as Wallace implies in the grocery store line. Driving is such a fitting metaphor for This Is Water. Cars leave us in our own little bubble, isolated from others, so it’s so easy to believe we’re the only people who matter on the road. But, if I remain aware — if I go “switch out of automatic” — I can remember that I am sharing the road, not owning the road. Wallace refers to this as “real freedom.” The right to choose what I pay attention to, the right to care for people I might never meet.

This Is Water is not for me a speech in its isolation; it’s an object lesson in how, like driving, life is riddled with traffic, detours, and frustrations. But awareness takes the wheel in manual instead of coasting in neutral. It’s about looking at the bigger picture, and recognizing that this road is not mine alone — it is everyone’s.